by Heeza de Seaver

Election season has ended for this year! Almost, there will be some runoffs. Many national, state, and local elections were hotly contested. The amount of money being put into politics these days is insane, and this means we get bombarded with political ads, signs, and text messages for weeks. I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad the ads and text messages are done. Evidently, this political season put one Valley man over the edge.

Jerry Mandur was reported missing this Monday. Mandur is a Valley City resident and auto mechanic. Mandur’s coworkers reported him missing on Monday after he didn’t show up for work, and they couldn’t reach him by phone. One of Mandur’s coworkers said, “Jerry had not been acting right for a couple weeks. He’s always pretty high strung and irritable, but it got a lot worse lately. He told me and another coworker that he couldn’t take it anymore. The political ads, signs and text messages were driving him crazy. We didn’t think too much about it. Jerry is getting mad again. What’s new? But, we never thought the election stuff would force him to lose it and go awol.”

Last week, an unidentified motorist drove off the road in Valley City and destroyed numerous political signs. They destroyed Republican and Democrat signs; they didn’t discriminate. It was reported to authorities, but no one was ever charged. Well, we now know that Mandur was the culprit.

Mandur admitted to his neighbor the day after it happened that he mowed down the signs. His neighbor didn’t want to get him into hot water, so he didn’t report it. Mandur’s neighbor also noticed that his demeanor changed over the past few weeks. Mandur’s neighbor who wants to remain anonymous said, “I was getting worried about Jerry. This political stuff was getting to him. He was acting more erratic. I don’t think he gets into politics, and I don’t think he votes. He told me he was going to destroy his cell phone with a hammer if he got another text message from a politician. Well, he wasn’t lying. He absolutely destroyed his phone with a sledgehammer. I found it smashed in his garage on Monday.”

Mandur’s coworkers and friends hadn’t heard from him since last Friday. That’s when he smashed his phone according to Mandur. His neighbor walked into his house on Monday, and Mandur was nowhere to be found. It’s like he’d vanished. His tv was destroyed as well, and it looked like a blunt object was thrown into it multiple times. His vehicle was still in his garage though, but his UTV was missing.

Evidently, this political season was just too much for Mandur. He could not be reached for comment, but he is safe and sound according the Valley City Police Department (VCPD). A VCPD spokesperson said, “Mr. Mandur was found safe in a heavily wooded area behind his house on Tuesday afternoon. He was sitting on the ground against a tree with a blank stare on his face. His dog was by his side. Mr. Mandur had very little reaction when he was found. Our officers asked him a litany of questions, but he was just heard mumbling about politics and political ads. He eventually told them that he’d been wondering in the woods for a few days with his dog, and he said the political ads drove him crazy. They found his UTV not long after in a ravine.”

Mr. Mandur is in a psychiatric rehab facility, and he is expected to be released tomorrow. He was diagnosed with acute election overload disorder (AEOD). Thankfully, he is expected to make a full recovery.

by Ben BeEssen

Strong River Bend (SRB) Baptist Church had their annual fall festival and chili cook-off this past Sunday night. It’s always a fun time for the church. They have games for the kids, a chili cook-off, and much more. They had a great turnout, and it seemed like a fun time was had by all. Well, that is until about midnight for some.

Word started going around Monday morning that multiple people got sick from the chili cook-off. By Monday afternoon, the SRB Baptist faithful was sure that some got food poisoning from the chili cook-off. The unofficial final count of attendees that got food poisoning was 14 people.

Bro. Willie Graham, SRB Baptist’s pastor, said, “My phone started blowing up Monday morning about people getting sick. I had a couple older members that had to go to the hospital for a couple days, but they ended up being ok. We started doing a little investigating, and we’re pretty sure we figured out the source. We’re almost positive it was Ms. Willoughby’s famous deviled eggs. Everyone except one person that ate her deviled eggs got sick. Everyone loves Ms. Willoughby, and no one has the heart to let her know.”

You might be wondering why she brought deviled eggs to a chili cook-off. According to Bro. Graham, she brings her famous deviled eggs to every church gathering that involves food. Everyone loves them, and they’re always the first thing to get gobbled up at the gatherings. People always identify her deviled eggs, and they make a beeline to get one.

One person that got sick said, “Look, I love Ms. Willoughby, and I don’t want this to get back to her. So, I want to remain anonymous. I overheard her tell Ms. Jacobs that she prepared her deviled eggs on Saturday instead of Sunday. She got her days mixed up, and she made them a day early. I heard her say this after I’d eaten an egg. I thought about forcing myself to throw up, but I said it’ll be ok. Well, it wasn’t ok, it was terrible. I woke up about midnight, and I had to sprint to the bathroom. It was a rough night.”

One member said, “I normally make sure I get one of Ms. Willoughby’s deviled eggs, but I was helping serve everyone. So, they were all gone by the time I even thought about it. I was bummed when I realized I didn’t get one. But, I’m glad I didn’t. Everyone that ate one got sick except Danny Daniels. I saw him get 4 of the deviled eggs. 4! I whispered to another lady that he is an egg hog. He must have an iron stomach that is food poison proof. He eats everything in sight, and it shows.”

No one has notified Ms. Willoughby that her deviled eggs were the culprit. There might be some hesitancy to eat her eggs at the next church gathering. One member said, “I still plan to eat her eggs, but I’m gonna ask her and make sure she prepared them the day of. They’re so good, and I’m willing to take a little gamble.”

by Ima Phibber

Mahjong has taken America by storm. Ladies are forming mahjong clubs all over the place. Old ladies, middle aged ladies, and young ladies are all playing it. If you haven’t heard of mahjong by now, you’re probably living under a rock. Mahjong is a tile-based game that originated in China in the 1800s. It combines skill, strategy, and luck, and it’s similar in concept to card games like Rummy.

The Wrinkled & Racked Mahjong Club has been playing at the Valley City Community Center for about 9 months now. It’s a group of senior citizen ladies, and they play every Tuesday afternoon at 3:00 pm. The club started out with only 4, but it has grown substantially since it started. They now routinely have 16-20 each week, so they’re able to play multiple games and have tournaments. It’s a fun lively bunch of ladies, and they always have a good time. That is, until this Tuesday.

This week’s game went off the rails, and the Valley City Police had to be called. Wrinkled & Racked has been temporarily kicked out of the community center until further notice. I was able to speak with multiple ladies about what transpired.

Ms. Gertrude Jones said, “Things have been a little off since Josephine brought Beatrice Smith with her a few weeks ago. She asked if she could bring Beatrice to play, and we said that would be fine. Well, none of us really knew Beatrice, and that was a mistake. She has just been an issue, and things just blew up this week because of her.”

Ms. Louise Banks added, “First off, Beatrice is just loud and obnoxious. She’s a know-it-all, and she came in here like she owned the place. She called a false mahjong on her first day. She plays so darn slow. We just got tired of her. We tried to hint to Josephine that we didn’t want Beatrice playing with us anymore. Well, things blew up on Tuesday, and now we’re kicked out of the community center. It just stinks!

Ms. Eileen Sanders said, “Look, I just had had enough of Beatrice! She was being her normal loud self, and she was playing slow. I was in a bad mood, and I just let her have it. I know I told her to hurry up, but I don’t even remember what all I said. I just remember we threw tiles at each other, and we both got face-to-face. We were yelling at each other, and it even got a little physical. Poor Phyllis Payne fell and bruised her hip trying to break us up. It was bad. I apologized to the ladies, but none of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for Beatrice.”

A Community Center worker called the police. Things had settled down by the time the police arrived. No charges were filed. An ambulance was also called for Phyllis Payne’s hip; it was initially feared that she’d broken her hip. The Community Center Director let the women know that they had to leave, and she’d let them know when they could come back. Wrinkled & Racked is looking for a place to play now, so let them know if you can help.

by Emma Embellischer

Valley City Elementary School (VCES) has a spelling bee annually for their 5th graders. It’s a big deal, and it’s always well attended. The VCES PTO was looking for a fun out-of-the-box way to raise money this year. There were many ideas presented, but they landed on doing an adult spelling bee. And, it was something else!

The spelling bee was held this Tuesday evening at the VCES Auditorium. Participants had to be a parent, grandparent, or guardian of a current VCES student. Tickets were sold for $10 each, and concessions were sold as well. The PTO had a few other things going during the event to raise funds too. They had a great crowd for the event, and twenty three adults entered the competition.

PTO President Tory Spelling said, “It was a great event for our PTO. We’ve never had an event that raised this much money. We plan to do it annually. It was so much fun too. The kids really enjoyed seeing their relatives struggle to spell. Some kids even made signs for their parents or grandparents, and it was a very lively crowd.”

The words started out fairly easy, and they got more difficult as the night went on. The spellers were gradually whittled down to the final two after about two hours. And, it was a battle for the ages between the final two.

One Dad that participated said, “My daughter has a really smart Indian kid in her class, and a really smart Korean kid. Both of those kids’ dads entered the competition. I play Wordle all the time, and I’m pretty dang good. But, I knew we were all cooked when I saw the names- Singh and Choi. An Indian and a Korean, I knew it was over. I gave a valiant effort, and I made it in the top 5. Not too bad for a college dropout!”

Mr. Singh and Mr. Choi battled word after word. Many spectators thought they may go until midnight. But, in the end, Mr. Choi won the competition. Mr. Singh was unexpectedly tripped up by broccoli. He added an extra L. The crowd was in disbelief. Mr. Singh was visibly disappointed, and he vowed to win it next year.

by I. B. Lyon

In sports, most teams have a home jersey and an away jersey. Teams wear one color at home games, and they wear another color at away games. But, alternate jerseys or uniforms have become very popular in the past decade or so. This was started by Oregon football years ago. They have about 163 different uniform combinations, and they wear a different uniform just about every game. Many other teams followed suit, and now alternate jerseys are very common. They’re worn to commemorate special anniversaries, holidays, and more. Now, the First Baptist Church (FBC) Valley City choir is getting in on the alternate action.

The FBC Valley City choir has worn navy robes for years. They have a white collar piece that goes around the necks of the choir members. They’re very classic, and they look nice and clean. But, they have decided to spice things up and add an alternate robe. FBC Valley City Music Minister Curtis Steven Chapman said, “We’ve been wearing the classic navy robes for years, and I decided it was time to spice things up a bit. The choir members are pretty excited about it. We’ve even gained a couple new members because of the robes. Who knows? We may come up with another alternate robe in the future.”

The new alternate robes are powder blue which is a very popular color these days. The choir plans to wear them on fifth Sundays, special holiday services, and other special occasions. FBC Valley City had a special ceremony this past Sunday to introduce the robes to the congregation. They had 4 choir members (a soprano, an alto, a tenor, and a bass) parade on stage wearing the robes. They had a neat light show that was accompanied by upbeat music, and the congregation was pumped up by the show. It was widely attended, and it seems like everyone was very pleased with the new robes.

One choir member said, “I love these new robes! It was time to change things up a bit. I really love the small crosses all over the robe. You have to be close to see them, but they add a nice touch. I think we need to wear these things all the time. I think the navy robes need to be retired, and they can be our alternate robes. Also, Bro. Chapman better sing more contemporary songs when we wear these bad boys. It’s gonna be lit!”

Another choir member added, “These things are fire! If you look good, you feel good. And, if you feel good, you sing good! I love the color, and I love the subtle features like the small crosses. The gold around the collar is so nice. I love not having to wear that white collar thing over my robe; it always gets cattywampus on me. The letter on the left side of the chest is cool too. I’m a tenor, so I’ll have a T on my chest. It’s nice that the congregation will know what parts we’re all singing. I hope we wear them a lot.”

Many churches have stopped having choirs, and they’ve gone to praise teams. And, many church choirs have stopped wearing robes. I guess they’re considered old fashioned these days. But, FBC Valley City and Bro. Chapman have leaned in with their robes, and the new alternates have created a buzz among the choir members and the church overall. Will other churches follow suit? We’ll see.

by Ben BeEssen

Most Valley City residents weren’t aware until recently that 3 Flock cameras were installed in Valley City. Once they found out, many took to social media demanding the cameras be taken down. The city board meeting that week turned into a circus. Valley City residents felt that the mayor and board of aldermen dismissed their concerns at the meeting, and they have felt they’ve been ignored since then. But, Valley City residents are very happy now, because the cameras have been removed by an unknown man and local hero.

Flock cameras have been in the national headlines recently. They are automated license plate reader (ALPR) systems made by Flock Safety that capture vehicle details and license plates to track movements. Many people didn’t realize that they were even in their cities and communities. Also, some people have been wrongly charged with traffic violations because of the errors of Flock cameras. Most people believe these cameras are an invasion of privacy, and they should be taken down.

The first Flock camera came down 3 weeks ago about 1:50 am. Multiple people took pictures of the camera sitting on the ground after its pole had been sawed in half. People celebrated the incident on social media. The Valley City Police Dept. (VCPD) asked for any information leading to the person responsible, but they have received no leads. Valley City had the camera back up in a couple days. But, it was sawed down a couple days later. Again, the VCPD has no leads, and still hasn’t solved the crime. That camera has not been reinstalled.

The second Flock camera was sawed down last Monday at approximately 2:05 am. The VCPD has no leads or witnesses. Again, Valley City residents were ecstatic about the camera being removed.

The third and final camera was taken care of this Tuesday morning at approximately 2:30 am. VCPD again has no leads or witnesses. VCPD thinks the same person has removed all 3 cameras, but they don’t know that for sure.

VCPD Chief Kojak Griffith said, “These cameras are helping us with public safety. I understand most people don’t want them, but you can’t just tear them down. That’s a crime. We’ll do what we can to find the perpetrator. But, the issue is that no one is cooperating with us. We have no statements from witnesses, and we have no leads. Plus, the perpetrator has been dressed in all black with a mask, so it’s basically impossible to identify him. Y’all need to help us out.”

Valley City residents are thrilled the cameras have been taken down, and they’re having fun giving the perpetrator a nickname.

One person on Facebook said, “This man is a hero! He should be knighted. We should call him Sir De-Flocker. These things are a travesty, and they should’ve never been installed. They did it without our knowledge and approval. If they put them back up, I hope Sir De-Flocker just keeps sawing them down.”

Another Facebook commenter said, “This is so great! This guy is doing a great service to the citizens of Valley City, and I hope no one snitches on him. I can’t decide if I want to call him the Flock Chopper or the Privacy Paladin; I think I like the Privacy Paladin more. The mayor and board of aldermen better start looking for other jobs. We’re gonna replace these bums!”

An anonymous source inside City Hall told me that city officials are not happy about the cameras being vandalized, but my source feels the cameras will not be replaced. If that’s the case, the Valley City residents have won the battle. Power to the people!

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Travel baseball, softball, soccer, and volleyball have become multibillion-dollar industries in America. They all continue to grow throughout the country and throughout The Valley. Many of these organizations are legitimate profitable businesses, and private equity has taken note. Now, a well-known and popular Valley baseball organization has been acquired by a private equity firm out of New York.

Dinger Nation was started by Mark McGwyer 10 years ago. McGwyer had finished up a 6 year career in the minor leagues, and he was looking for something to do after baseball. McGwyer said, “I knew my playing days were over, but I had no idea what I was going to do. My sister recommended starting a travel team for my nephew and his friends. I told her that I would try it, and the first couple years were tough. Before long, one team turned into three, then 5, and we were off to the races. It’s been a lot of fun, and we’ve had some really good players come through Dinger Nation.”

Dinger Nation’s growth and popularity caught the attention of Cheddar Partners, a New York based private equity firm. Cheddar Partners’ VP of Acquisitions, Willie Ackman, said, “This is our first foray into youth sports, and we’re excited about it. To our knowledge, this is the first private equity acquisition of a local travel ball organization. There have been multiple big national organizations that have been acquired by private equity, but not a small local organization like Dinger Nation. We’re looking forward to working with McGwyer and his team to grow and improve the organization even more.”

The dollar value of the acquisition hasn’t been disclosed, but many believe it to be in the 6 figures.

McGwyer added, “Cheddar Partners has promised to infuse more money into the organization for more growth and to attract better coaches. They said they’re not going to change anything right now. I’m going to keep running the organization. Additionally, they’ve worked out agreements with Marucci, Absolutely Ridiculous, Bruce Bolt, and they’ll be more to come. Parents that are looking for a great organization with great coaching with a lot of cheddar, we’re the organization for you!”

Dinger Nation parents have mixed feelings about the acquistion. One dad said, “This is just insane. I can’t believe it. I’m worried that is going to negatively affect Dinger Nation. Is Coach McGwyer still going to have the same fire after getting that big check? How is Cheddar going to change things? I know they said they’re not going to for now, but you know they’re gonna start messing with things at some point. It just seems too good to be true.”

One mom said, “Wow! This is fantastic! We just joined Dinger Nation 2 months ago, and I think we hit the jackpot. Now, Ethan is going to get multiple Marucci bats, sliding gear from Absolutely Ridiculous, and multiple pairs of batting gloves from Bruce Bolt. He’s on cloud nine! Obviously, God was shining down on us.”

Will Dinger Nation be the only organization in The Valley that gets gobbled up by private equity? A couple people have told me they’ve seen multiple out of town guys wearing expensive suits in Valley restaurants in the past week. We shall see.

by I. B. Lyon

We have known for years now that invasive pythons are a problem in Florida and the Everglades. Over the years, people have released their python pets into the wild, and they’ve reproduced and become a major problem. People and organizations have been hunting and killing the snakes for years to protect Florida ecosystems and native species. Now, a Valley farmer has partnered with an organization in Florida to relocate some pythons to his property in The Valley.

Olan “Ole” McDonald has been farming in The Valley for about 35 years, and he owns one of the largest farms in the Strong River Valley. Rodents (mice, beavers, and capybaras) and deer have become a major problem for Mr. McDonald. McDonald said, “Man, I’m so tired of these dang rodents. The capybaras came last year, and they’re driving me crazy now. The deer clean me out every year, and I’m just tired of it. I know people don’t want these pythons around here, but I had to do something.”

McDonald has partnered with the Everglades Invasive Species Removal Coalition (EISRC) and their Python Relocation Program (PRP) to bring pythons to his property. The EISRC is a no kill organization, so they’re always looking for places to relocate pythons and other species. Farmers have become frequent partners with their PRP program to cut down on rodents and other nuisance species.

I could not reach the EISRC for comment. Mr. McDonald declined to provide any information about the number of snakes and size of the snakes he is going to receive. However, he did inform me that he would be receiving multiple snakes next week.

Valleyans are not happy about the situation. One of McDonald’s neighbors said, “This is crazy! I’m so ticked off I can’t see straight. How is this legal? Now, I’m worried about my dogs; they go on his property all the time. We have some goats too. I’m worried a python may get one of them too. Somebody has got to stop this!”

Another Valleyan said, “I called the wildlife folks, and they said there’s nothing they can do about it because it’s his private property. This is scary and insane! All our dang animals are gonna start disappearing. I love to hunt deer and turkey, and those pythons are gonna start eating them. I still can’t believe this. I swear I’m in a dream.”

Multiple residents have promised to block the EISRC folks from releasing the snakes. They’re setting up 24 hour watch teams to locate any vehicles with Florida license plates. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

by “Stretch” DeTrooth

Many high schools are installing synthetic turf football and baseball fields these days. They require a large upfront investment, but they can be cheaper in the long run. They cut out the need for watering, mowing, fertilizing, and other maintenance. Plus, they look really nice and clean, and kids enjoy playing on them.

Strong River Bend (SRB) High Baseball started construction on their turf installation on Monday, and it has already been halted. Construction workers were doing some dirt work, and a worker discovered what appeared to be human bones. The crew stopped working, and they called the school principal, Dr. Dick Belding. Dr. Belding then called the police. SRB Police examined the bones, and they thought the bones were possibly hundreds of years old. So, they called the Mississippi Archaeological Society (MAS) to inspect the area.

Dr. Belding said, “I was shocked when the construction foreman called me about the bones. I didn’t have this on my 2026 bingo card. To be safe, I called the police for them to check it out. The bones looked really old, but you never know. When Jones Indiana with the MAS got here and looked it over, he told me that he was pretty sure our field was built on an Indian burial ground. He said we’d need to halt construction for a while for them to check it out. Indiana and his crew are coming Monday to get started. I hope it doesn’t take long, but I have no idea at this point.”

The turf was supposed to be ready to go by mid- December in time for the 2027 baseball season, but no one knows at this point. The archaeological dig could last 2 days, or it could last 2 months.

SRB Baseball Coach Sparky Granderson said, “The kids are I are pumped up about this turf field, so we weren’t thrilled to learn the news. But, it is what it is. This could explain why our program hasn’t been very good historically. We’ve said on multiple occasions that the baseball gods just haven’t been too kind to us. Well, maybe the Indian gods cursed us. Maybe that’s been the problem. Hopefully, we won’t have to worry about that going forward.”

The SRVO will keep you updated on the archaeological dig and the progress of the baseball field.

by Heeza de Seaver

Riverbend Roastery is a hot spot in The Valley. The Strong River Bend (SRB) coffee shop sees a ton of traffic in the mornings as people stop on their way to work to get coffee and other drinks. People also love their breakfast. But, the beloved coffee shop is making the news now for an unfortunate event.

Workers arrived for work on Tuesday morning to discover the building had been egged. They also noticed that their large sign promoting their pumpkin spice coffee drinks had been vandalized.

Owner Jo Lahtaye said, “This is so unfortunate. We’ve never had anything like this happen to us. We’ve never had anything stolen, and we’ve never had anything vandalized. I reviewed our camera footage, and it’s very difficult to make heads or tails of it. The guy did all this around 3:00 am, and I could tell it was a male. We’ve turned it over to the police, so we’ll see what happens.”

Valleyans have taken to social media to discuss the incident, and the posts are all over the map. But, one common theme is that many people feel the perpetrator was angry about the pumpkin spice sign. People feel that Riverbend Roastery was selling pumpkin spice drinks way too early in the fall.

One commenter said, “I love this coffee shop. I go by there 2-3 times per week, and it’s always great. But, it’s way too early to start selling pumpkin spice drinks. It’s still like 90 degrees outside. How the heck can you sell pumpkin spice drinks now? You gotta wait until the weather cools off. I guess that’s why the person vandalized their stuff?”

Another commenter said, “I hate to say it, but they got what they deserved. How can you be selling pumpkin spice drinks now? Plus, pumpkin spice is so overrated. To be honest, it sucks! I bet these people start putting their Christmas decorations up on November 1st. I don’t wanna condone vandalism, but I understand why the guy did what he did.”

Riverbend Roastery vows to put up another pumpkin spice sign and continue offering their pumpkin spice drinks. Lahtaye said, “We can’t let one bad apple scare us. I hope this will actually help us to sell more pumpkin spice drinks. We’re received a ton of support from this; it has rallied our customers to support us even more.”